Sob Sob…Reviews.


Reviews come in like little trickles of water. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast. No matter how they arrive, some of them sting!

No matter how you handle hearing the destruction of your written contribution to the world, how in the world do you move on?

Do you take each view of criticism as a way to improve your writing? Or..

Do you roll your eyes and say “They don’t know what they are talking about?”

It is true that it is harder to create something then it is to critique, and you can’t please everyone. Having said that, it is painful to read that  a review just wrecked  the work you brought into the world! When you have such a fragile psyche, you find yourself wondering if you should destroy everything you have created or built.


Perhaps you are made of stronger stuff and you merely look in the mirror and say, “Stiffen that upper lip, it was only one review!”


Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Double barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?


One way to move past it, I think is to read reviews from books written by best selling authors. Have you read the reviews for “Fifty Shades of Grey”? I have copied one to make you feel as good as it made me feel.

26,899 of 27,980 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Did a teenager write this???, April 15, 2012
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (Fifty Shades of Grey Series) (Paperback)

I really don’t like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old’s fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he’s not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he’s never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their “dream man” and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she’s climaxing on every page.

Then there’s the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering “Jeez” about something or another. Then there’s the use of “shades of”. He’s “fifty shades of @#$%% up,” “she turned 7 shades of crimson,” “he’s ten shades of x,y, and z.” Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don’t know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!

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I did not post this review on here to make fun of E.L. James’ work. I did not even do it to point out that she is or maybe a horrible writer. I posted this here to show that even she, a Best Seller, can have a bad review. (For example do you think the reviews from “Twilight” hurt the author? You think Stephanie Meyers cares as she looks at her bank account?)
Have any of you gotten bad reviews? In anything? If so I’d love to hear them! Get out your sadness. This is a judge free zone here! Sound off in the comments below. Or if you just want to give me or someone you know a boost of confidence that is always welcomed!
Until then my friends, keep writing.  And remember when life gives you lemons!


5 thoughts on “Sob Sob…Reviews.

  1. Bad reviews can be hard to stomach — and so can rejections from the literary world, like from an agent or literary magazine. Ouch!! Unfortunately, as writers, we just have to deal with it and, as you said, stiffen our upper lips. It’s a tough world out there!

    Best of luck in your writing!


  2. I understand your point and I agree. Sometimes you get like 100 praises and just one hurtful comment that ruins your day/mood/evening/sleep and everything.
    The important thing is sticking to yourself and your beliefs.

    As for Mr. Grey, the only things he thinks about are food and sex. haha 😀


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